One of the plaintiffs in the gay marriage case summed up the SCOTUS win quite perfectly to their 5 children: “This means our marriage is recognized in all 50 states, our family is recognized in all 50 states, and, in a very profound way, our humanity is recognized in all 50 states.” This is quite true. When my husband and I married, we wanted to marry for all the reasons why everyone else wants to marry. Nonetheless, enter children into the picture, and the passion and fight for marriage to be equal was so much more imperative…. Continue reading
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Truly, this is the question I get from both same sex couples as well as straight couples. At first, I took it personally; “You don’t think I can handle another child?” When I realized that I most certainly could, I questioned them further only to find out that it is their own insecurities, wants and desires that have never transpired. For the record, it is not selfish to only want one child. It is being realistic in many cases. Having one child has made many realize that they simply didn’t “need” nor “want” anymore. I got asked by a family member a couple of weeks ago, “You have a beautiful baby who you’ve raised so well…you don’t need another one!”. But for some, like myself, I do. And there is nothing wrong with that… Continue reading
I wanted to pull a little girls pony tail…
A fairly new child to our weekly playgroup annoyed me the other day! She (yes I said she!) was adorable. Blonde ringlets in her pony tail, blue eyes, red red cheeks. Like a little doll. Came running up to Reagan and I and asked me where “way-guns” (Reagan’s) mommy was. I thought to myself, ah cute little munchkin. I knelt down, hand on my child’s head to somehow assure her of what I was about to say despite the fact she is 15 months old and doesn’t understand, and said “Well, Reagan has two daddies”. She proceeded to say “I don’t understand”…repeatedly…loudly. Practically stomped her feet! Like…she was pissed that the answer given was not the appropriate answer. I felt like shouting “where is this 4 years olds parents?!” The icing on the cake was that her mother was indeed listening to the entire incident. I felt myself wanting to yank on her little ponytail to stop causing a scene and than slap her mother for not stepping in. (…maybe I’m a bully…) Continue reading
Every Milestone Reached by Year 1…Check!
One whole year on August 7th. Can it possibly be that one year has passed since our tiny, quiet bundle miraculously entered into our lives and is now that same one running around our house, scratching up the walls with her push toys, pointing (a.k.a. wanting) at everything in site, and tossing her bath toys out of the tub? How she has grown from a dimpled quiet infant to a smiling baby, and now a very curious and willful toddler. All in a timespan of just 365 days. It feels as if someone handed us a helpless infant just yesterday and suddenly flipped a switch and my child is finding her voice, her will, and the fact that being stubborn is a whole lot of fun! Reagan has reached every milestone that every parent anticipates for and I have indeed learned so much this past year. Continue reading
The Controlling Parent…
I have a grin on my face as I write this because I can hear the shrieks of absolute relief from many of my family members calling out to one another: “He’s finally going to admit that he’s a controlling parent!” Ha ha! 11 months of being a parent and I never once lied to anyone about it. Prior to my daughters birth, I ALWAYS stated that I was going to be a tad bit controlling. Hell, I am controlling about which paper towels need to be displayed in the house (ask my partner….he once made that mistake lol). Indeed, I have stood tall and true to the challenge! In other ways, I let my child be a free spirit to find her own way. For the record, if I had to choose, I would rather see a parent have too much control rather than not enough. I would rather see a parent making too many choices for their children and feel the need to be that involved than to stand back and watch a person with no legs try to walk. Absolutely, children are individuals and they should embrace their individuality. I wholeheartedly believe that and want that for my daughter. However, the stages of Baby to Infant to Toddler, if not for anything but due to continuing brain development, is impossible for them to make appropriate decisions for every occasion, cope adequately or fully understand long-term consequences. Continue reading