Truly, this is the question I get from both same sex couples as well as straight couples. At first, I took it personally; “You don’t think I can handle another child?” When I realized that I most certainly could, I questioned them further only to find out that it is their own insecurities, wants and desires that have never transpired. For the record, it is not selfish to only want one child. It is being realistic in many cases. Having one child has made many realize that they simply didn’t “need” nor “want” anymore. I got asked by a family member a couple of weeks ago, “You have a beautiful baby who you’ve raised so well…you don’t need another one!”. But for some, like myself, I do. And there is nothing wrong with that…
Let’s face it…The transition from only child to an older sibling can be a tricky one, and I may find there is an adjustment period while everybody adapts to their new roles. The parent will turn to being a peace-keeper of sorts. Even the closest siblings in the world fight every now and then. Some days my children will love each other unconditionally, and other days they won’t be able to stay in the same room as each other. They might call each other names, hurt each other’s feelings and even have physical fights, and I may find myself acting as the official mediator on these days. Oh and the dollar signs…Well they will be double the amount of those.
On the positive side, A sibling can be a lifelong friend. Long after my husband and I are gone, the siblings will still be able to rely on each other for friendship and support. Our children will have each other for the rest of their lives.
A second child is often regarded with more judgment than joy. While having one child was considered a blessing, exceeding that number sometimes appears selfish and called into question our resources, the first child’s well-being and (my) time management skills. Could we really afford a second child in this economy? What would be taken away from Reagan with this new mouth to feed? How would we get anything done?
I had the luxury of being a middle brother to two sisters. Granted, being a middle child isn’t always easy simply because I was always “in the middle”. My name smashed between my sisters names in every holiday card, middle of the back seat, etc. Nevertheless, I was afforded some basic middle child necessities that simply came with the job. For example, studying how to get away with what my older sister couldn’t get away with…and filling my younger sister in on it. 🙂
Ive spoken about it before, but siblings are there for you, if you’re lucky, throughout your entire spectrum of your life. More so than your spouse. It’s magical really and I wish to give that to my child. My sisters mean the absolute world to me. What’s great about them is that they always accepted me for who I was. As a Brother, I know there are things about me that drove my sisters crazy but at the end of the day I always felt they accepted me for who I was and I accepted them. Often in some ways it is easier to love someone that is different than you I think. Despite my many flaws and short comings, my sisters were always there for me, to make me laugh, comfort me, make me forget in the many areas that I lacked. That acceptance was always there and like water and food to the soul, nourished and shaped me to be who I am today.
The great thing about Sisters and siblings is they don’t hold grudges for long. I might be taking broad liberties with this one, but from what I’ve seen, this is true. My sisters get really mad REALLY fast (as do I) and once they blow off steam, they forget. How wonderful is that?
I think over the years having 2 great sisters led me to know what a good family life looked like and to yearn for. My husband also has 2 sisters and I consider myself close to them as well. It just goes to show how God puts the right people in our lives and He knows just what we need. Ironic, isn’t it? Now, my sisters and I have families of our own (all daughters) and by following the same path we just remain connected. That is why, in my heart of hearts, I want Reagan to have a sibling. The forever connection.
So…ugh, yeah another baby…one day. Because, I believe that love doesn’t divide. It multiplies. When the time comes, Reagan will make an amazing older sister…as I have two amazing sisters. You know that special feeling you got when you held your first child in your arms? I believe that you receive it all over again with your second and more – that’s a whole lot of love – just for your family.