After being 11 days late, she finally decided to make her grand appearance on Wednesday August 7th at 8:23 pm, coming in at a whopping 8 pounds 10 ounces, 20 inches long, with a full head of black hair, the cutest little dimple, and truly breaking her Daddy and Papa’s heart with her coo’s and cries. After the birth, a sleepless two and a half nights, and the anticipated signing of termination papers, I am thrilled to finally be able to introduce our daughter (by her name) Reagan Alma…
The fact that the birth parents invited us into the delivery room was something of a gift in itself. How many gay men get to experience that kind of moment, first hand? People call it a miracle. And while I agree that it is, I feel it is also, quite simply, life. Pure, clean life. I was entrusted to be the one to cut the umbilical cord. When the doctor called me over, and I was staring down at this crying, wrinkly, little human being…well its just amazing. Amazing that life can start from nothing within someone else and come out into a miniature version of ourselves.
That evening, the nurses at the hospital were kind enough to give us our own hospital room, so that we can bond with Reagan while the Birth Mom and her boyfriend recovered and slept. What an evening. While being extremely tired, I was quite high on adrenaline.
We got to change our first Meconium filled diaper…and that was quite explosive (literally). We did a couple of feedings, as well as gave Reagan her first bath. It was a sleepless night because all I wanted to do was stare at her to make sure her stomach was going up and down, as it is suppose to when one breathes! For about 2 hours, she decided she no longer wanted to sleep, or eat, so we just sat up together and stared at one another. I told her a little bit about me and the family that she was getting and she proved herself to be a wonderful listener…already taking after her fathers 😉
Adoption truly is an amazing thing…so much more so than surrogacy or even how families are started the natural way. Because, after all, family isn’t always blood. It is the people in your life who want you in theirs. The ones who accept you for who you are. The ones who would do anything to see you happy, to see you shine. It is the ones that you pick and choose. As the birth parents of Reagan chose my partner and I and we chose them. Reagan couldn’t be anymore our daughter than I am my mothers son. Sure, I may not have given her the gift of life. But life gave me the gift of her.
Termination Day arrived, after another sleepless night. It was torture. After bonding with this child and knowing that it can all be over in one minute was nauseating. I kept it all in though and think I did a fairly pretty good job of staying strong about it. On one hand, I walked into the hospital preparing myself to call in my wonderful New York Italian cousins onto the scene to take care of the Birth Parents if they didn’t sign. And they would prevail! (I adore you guys!). Nonetheless, on the other hand, I am in love with the birth parents. How could I possibly ever be mad at someone for changing their mind to love something as perfect as what we wish to love? It would be unfair.
The attorney arrived, and the termination papers were indeed signed. I have a bond with the Birth Mother-an emotional bond of sorts-so I chose to have my private moment of goodbye with her. I could delve more into how that conversation went. Nonetheless, that will be for me and my daughter to discuss when the day comes. So please do not ask….(you know who you are…lol).
7 months of a tumultuous journey has finally come to an emotional end when we put our daughter into the car and drove away from that hospital. I cannot believe that she is officially ours and cannot wait to share our life with her.