I am the guy standing on line at the grocery store, making funny faces at the child in the stroller in front of me, just to get a laugh or smile out of him. I dont know why I’m like that. I’ve never been able to figure out why I have that paternal, as well as maternal, instinct within me. I do know that it has always been that way. Always.
For reasons such as the lack of a solid relationship, being gay and age, were all important reservations on why it is I hesitated pursuing a family of my own-despite the overwhelming want for one. Than, quite suddenly, a wonderful relationship was found. I accepted who I was born to be. I reached an age where it would be most ideal to start a family.
Our decision to adopt is the most important decision, as a couple, my partner and I will ever make. Unlike todays divorce-ridden world, children are forever. You cant divorce them, you cant sell them on Ebay. Children are for the complete duration.
Eda Le Shan, a U.S. educator, wrote this in her book (The Conspiracy Against Childhood): Babies are necessary to grown-ups. A new baby is the beginning of all things-wonder, hope, a dream of possibilities. In a world that is cutting down its trees to build highways, losing its earth to concrete-babies are almost the only remaining link to nature, with the natural world of living things from which we spring.
We had made many decisions throughout our marriage that has led us to prepare for adoption. Every decision has been aimed towards this huge life event. I cant properly explain it…but when you know your ready…you are indeed ready. It simply hits you.
Despite a loving family (on both sides) as well as very supportive friends, I still get asked “Your life is great, why do you want children now?” or the warning “Get ready, your life is going to majorly change!”, and the one that I love the most is “How much is the baby going to cost?”
Our life is indeed GREAT! In fact, we are so blessed and so lucky that we rarely want for anything. Except a family. Our life is indeed going to change and it is going to change into something amazing, fun, exhausting, stressful, beautiful. Isn’t that what is suppose to happen? We’re completely ready for it.
This brought me to tears….and you are correct…you are quinticentially (spelling) exact about what a baby can bring to your life. It is a gift, not a right, and it is your lifelong journey, the greatest journey any of us can take….
Well allow me to say congratulations! It sounds like whoever you adopt will be well loved. 🙂
Thank you so much!
Good luck with your quest