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The dreaded “Birth Mother” letter

Let me be clear that I despise the term “Birth Mother”.

Up until that baby is born, she is indeed the actual mother.  Everything I had researched about regarding writing this very intimidating letter, all began with “Dear Birth Mother”.  I found that to sound very insulting to the woman that is carrying, potentially, our future child. Besides, every example profile that we looked at began with the same salutation.  We simply decided to begin ours with “Hello”. Writing this letter set the tone for our entire profile of pictures that would be sent out to woman that are pregnant and looking to find an adoption plan for their child. We decided to keep it extremely short and simple and let the 30 pictures we had to submit, do most of the talking.


We are excited for the opportunity to share ourselves with you. We know that you have a lot to think about as you decide if an adoption plan is right for you.  We are so glad that you have decided to spend some time learning about us and we hope that whatever decision you make brings you much peace. 

Despite the thought and care we’ve put into creating this profile, it is a difficult way to express how committed we are to offering this child a life of love and security.  But let us assure you that we will do everything possible to foster within him a strong sense of self-confidence, the importance of becoming independent and the value of a loving, supportive family.   

Our goal is to give this child brothers & sisters because we know that having close siblings is one of the most valuable gifts we can offer…as it has been for both of us. Aside from this, we will work to offer the finest education, support and financial security. We have been devoted to, and will continue to do so, building a strong foundation for our family and to create a nurturing home filled with much laughter, love and a sense of well-being.

Together, as well as our amazingly supportive families, we will create a safe, family-centered environment and this child will grow up knowing that your courageous decision was carefully made in their interest and with love.

Thank you so much for this opportunity.


One thought on “The dreaded “Birth Mother” letter

  1. Jim, I cannot even express how amazing I think both you and Brian are. I wish I could tell every potential adoptive mom how wonderful you both would be as parents because in my heart of hearts, I believe that you were both made to be the most incredible parents ever. I love you to the moon and back!

    Rose Anna

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